


Ben Tallmadge x Reader Imagines

by legendofcatnerd



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: All depends on what is asked, F/M, May eventually include smut if requested, Usually these are short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-05-21 01:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14906000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendofcatnerd/pseuds/legendofcatnerd
Summary: Just a collection of Benny Boy x Reader imagines I write whenever I've got time. Ratings can range to anything. Requests are open. Can also be sent to my Tumblr at tallmadge-carter.





	1. Did it frighten you, how we kissed when we danced?

**Author's Note:**

> You and Ben share a dance that results in your first, nervous kiss, and a daring escape.

You were absolutely miserable, and there was nothing you could do to fix it. After all you’d done for your country- the encryption and the code breaking, the scheming and the aftermath- your family had the audacity to pull you away at one of the most crucial moments. In full literal sense, your father had arranged for your sister’s husband to violently force you into a carriage and drag you back to Philadelphia. 

“A woman’s place” was not in Washington’s camp, and you would not shame them like this. That was what your mother had said, or something like it. Containing you in the fancy family house in Philadelphia was suffocating you. For not only did you leave your work in the Culper ring behind, but you’d also abandoned the man you were in love with.

Neither of you acted on your feelings, or least that was what you told yourself. Major Ben Tallmadge, your superior and the only one who truly believed in your abilities, was the only man in the Colonies and all the world who held your heart. After spending the day working on reports and breaking codes, you two often strolled around the outskirts of camp, talking about everything outside of the war. Your hometowns, your families, your friends. With Ben, there seemed to be a life after all the bloodshed. There was hope within his good soul.

There had been a moment the last night you were there in which Ben had leaned forward to kiss you, and (merry on ale and happy news of Culper Sr. and Jr.’s latest) Caleb had come bursting in. At least, you thought Ben was going to kiss you before the interruption. The conversation, tender and sweet, had swayed to marriage, and how Ben wanted to know if it was something you ever thought about.

“My life after this war seems impossible to imagine.” You replied.

“I used to think that way, too.” Ben said.

“What changed your mind?” You asked him.

“Well…” Ben shifted uncomfortably, “I suppose, truth be told, you did.”

His deep blue eyes seemed nervous then, as he stepped forward and edged near you. You stared at his mouth, which trembled something terrible. Just as you were about to lean in, Caleb tackled Ben to the ground.

That was months ago. Now, as the first flowers poked their heads through the snow, you wished for that cold winter. You’d hated winter before, but now it represented another life, another world. One of purpose. A world you longed for.

Tonight, your family held a ball for the local Continental army officers. it was just another attempt at finding you a suitor and you knew it. At 21, your sisters worried you were becoming an old maid, and your parents felt the same. An endless row of men in uniform seemed to carousel before you, and it wasn’t long before you grew tired of this charade.

Excusing yourself to go to powder your nose, you crossed the ballroom and rounded a corner as someone bumped your shoulder. Exhausted by this unnecessary encounter, you turned to snap at them and your heart sank into your stomach. There, clad in his beautiful blue and gold uniform that you adored, was Ben.

He raised a finger to his lips and clasped a large hand around your wrist, leading you to the large, empty kitchen in the back of the house. It was almost as if he remembered the layout of your house just as you’d described weeks ago, when you had laughed about the ridiculous size of it all to him, Caleb and Anna around a communal fire. It seemed Ben was a better listener than you realized.

“What on earth are you doing here?” You asked, although you were thrilled to see him.

“I’ve come to bring you back,” Ben replied, as though it were obvious, “Y/N, we need you. The ring needs you. I need you.”

You glanced back into the ballroom at your parents, sisters and their husbands, and felt your stomach churn.

“Ben…I can’t,” You said sadly, “My family, they’ll never allow it…”

Ben smirked a little, “And here I thought you were a dirty rebel like the rest of us.”

The sound of the small group of musicians in the ballroom striking up a typical song alerted you both. People cheered as they found partners and gathered to dance together. You looked at Ben sadly, knowing you’d easily be missed if you weren’t there.

Not missing a single cue, Ben laced his hand in yours and led you to the ballroom. Your face turned scarlet as the dashing young Dragoon pulled you towards him, following the painfully formal dance you had both clearly been forced to learn in your youth. But all you could see, all you could feel, was Benjamin Tallmadge. He was so close to you, it nearly frightened you.

Months without seeing him and here he was. Bright-eyed, but still tired looking (because you knew better than anyone that Ben had difficulty sleeping) and still as handsome as ever. You had grown up in Philadelphia society, and seen good looking men on a regular basis, always dressed in the latest fashions. But none of them could hold a candle to Ben, even when he was beaten and bloody and wearing a filthy set of civilian’s clothes.

Following the pattern of the dance, Ben managed to help you exit the ballroom unnoticed. Clearly, he’d done this before. It made sense, seeing as Ben was not fond of these dull social gatherings and much preferred to hide within a book. You missed seeing him leafing through the large volumes in Sackett’s collection, or when he would come to you inquiring about an ancient ciphering method. Neither of you were made for these foolish society games.

“Meet me by the back door in five minutes,” You instructed, “That will give me time to change into something easier to travel in.”

Ben looked you up and down, “But this dress looks incredible on you.”

You laughed, “Please. This silk and ribbons contraption? It’s not practical-”

In a moment of bravery, Ben suddenly pressed his mouth to yours, kissing you with everything in him. Your heart skipped faster as his arms wrapped around your waist and you kissed him back, shaking the entire time. He pressed his forehead to yours, panting a little from the excitement.

“I have wanted to do that for months…” Ben whispered, “But I was too afraid.”

“You should never be afraid when it comes to me, Major Tallmadge,” You said quietly, placing a hand on his cheek, “Of all people, you should know that.”

The sound of cheering from the ballroom snapped you both back to reality. 

“Five minutes.” You said.

“I’ll be there.” Ben promised.

You rushed up the stairs to your room and happily threw off the silk gown in favour of the olive green one Anna Strong had gifted you. A society girl you would not have to be in camp, where you were needed for all that you truly were. Excitedly you fastened the last button, switching the fancy pink shoes for your comfortable small black boots. They were men’s boots, yes, but they were easier to run in.

Ben lifted you onto the horse you pulled out of the barn and climbed on behind you. You placed your hands over his as you both rode into the night, headed for the camp you couldn’t wait to return to. As your mind raced with thoughts of your beloved friends Anna and Caleb, you felt Ben wrap his arms around you tightly.

For now, you didn’t know about what things would hold for you after the war. But right now, your happiness was within the cause, and this beautiful officer who came all that way just to bring you back. As you looked forward to spending the night in his quarters keeping each other warm, you decided not to worry about what you family would think when they realized you were gone.

You had everything you need right there in Benjamin Tallmadge.


	2. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise pregnancy shortly after marrying Ben is a blessing to you both, but with the stress of the war, poor Benny boy is not handling this well… especially when you go into labour in camp.
> 
> TW: Childbirth

You frowned, looking through the basket for a proper needle. The one you were using to make the gloves for the Corporal had just broken, and for good reason: it was obscenely old and very thin. It reminded you of how sore your back was.

“Good heavens, Y/N, please sit down!” Anna Strong’s voice echoed behind you. She had returned to her peddling cart.

“I’m fine, Anna, really,” You lied, when it reality you were desperate to make yourself useful, “Just trying to find a needle that isn’t broken…”

Anna placed a chair with a worn-looking cushion next to you, “I’m afraid I must insist. If Ben comes round and sees you up like this, he’ll have my head. And I would agree with him, for once.”

She offered her hand, and you gingerly took it. Slowly you eased yourself to sit, but not without discomfort. But it was all for good reason: you were nearly nine months pregnant.

You rested a hand on your swollen belly, “Thank you, Anna.”

Anna gave you a knowing smile, “How’s the little one doing these days?”

“Oh you know,” You said with a little laugh, “Kicking like crazy, most of the time…”

“Have you been to see the doctor? Or has your husband at least sent for one?” Mary Woodhull appeared, holding the hand of her son, Thomas, “If you haven’t I would strongly suggest you do so. This is a crucial time.”

“I can see to it if he’s unable.” Anna agreed.

“I’m fine, really!” You said, blushing from all the fuss, “You are both too kind, but I swear I am quite well. The last time I saw the doctor was last week, and everything looks to be in order.”

You had become good friends with both Ann and Mary over the passing months. There was an odd tension between the two at times, you’d noticed, but the moment you realized you were pregnant, it was as though they’d decided to band together to ensure you were cared for. This was certainly a woman’s bond, for it was your burden alone when it came to children.

“I still don’t know why you didn’t take Ben up on the offer to go stay with Lady Washington,” Mary said, “I know I certainly would have, had I been in your position.”

“I need to remain here, Mary, with my husband,” You said, “And besides, I’d feel uncomfortable staying with someone I don’t know well, especially when I’m the size of a house!”

“It certainly feels that way towards the end,” Mary agreed.

You shifted uncomfortably, feeling your baby move around. There was little you could do to adjust. Though you knew you were well in the proper timeline, you were growing anxious. Truthfully, you felt ready to just give birth then and there, and have it all over with. 

But you tried not to voice these thoughts with your husband, Benjamin Tallmadge. You knew he was already under a lot of stress, managing both the Culper ring and his regular duties at camp. Sometimes he didn’t even come back to his quarters to sleep at night, and though you usually passed out before him, you always noticed due to the absence of his warmth.

As you watched little Thomas exploring the contents of the cart, you remembered the day you met Ben. At the time, you thought you were being blessed with a stranger’s kindness as a reward for surviving such hardship, but you later realized it was so much more. God had been watching out for you that day.

You’d grown up in an orphanage, which was a dismal, regretful place. By the time you reached adulthood, you’d gained enough skills to know how to cook and clean, so you sought employment. For a time, you worked as a barmaid in a small town in the New Jersey countryside, and things were uneventful, until the night the owner decided to join his patrons in having a few rounds.

He often looked at you and made grotesque comments, but you’d always ignored them. Deep down you hoped that was all that would happen, but on this night he chose to be bold. The man cornered you, sliding his hand under your dress. You pushed him off and demanded he not touch you. To this, he slapped you. Mortified but knowing he had no plans to stop, you grabbed the nearest object - a glass whiskey bottle - and hit him over the head. The bottle shattered, the man fell to the floor and you looked on in horror at what you’d done.

You escaped into the cold winter night, not sure where you were going, but knowing you had to get away. Eventually you ran out of food, and not knowing where the next town was over even what to do next, you collapsed in the middle of one of the main roads. You weren’t sure when, but the Continental Army had come upon you, led by the 2nd Light Dragoons.

That night you awoke in their camp, a bearded man who looked like a whaler and a tall, handsome fellow with bright blues standing over you. Caleb Brewster, who was now a beloved friend and teased you like a little sister, said the blood on your clothes had concerned them. The other, of course, was your Ben. He asked in a soft, gentle voice, what had happened to you. Shaking and afraid of what might happen to you, you confessed to your crime, begging for mercy and insisting you hadn’t meant to hurt the man that badly. 

“Please don’t send me back to the orphanage!” You begged, clearly hysterical with fear.

“We’re…not going to do that,” Ben had said to you, very confused, “We were concerned you came upon the Hessians in Trenton, and that we’d found you after the fact.”

“Hessians?” You looked from him to Caleb, “You mean the ones with the redcoats?”

“Do you know something about Hessians and the British?” Ben asked.

You nodded, “What do you need to know?”

“Anything and everything,” Ben said, “But at least let me get you a blanket first.”

He later told you that you were shivering so badly that he had initially wanted to warm you himself since it would probably have been faster, but of course, being a gentleman, figured a blanket would suffice. You accepted the blanket, wrapped around your shoulders, and started to spill.

You then told both of them how you heard a few British officers talking about the Hessian movements in the tavern you worked at. Worried that keeping anything from them might condemn you, you told them both everything you knew. That, and you were tired of the way the redcoat officers had treated you, which was very much the same as your former boss had.

The kindly Dragoon allowed you to stay in camp once you offered to help with “anything.” You were afraid of the world outside, after all, and he felt bad sending you out where it was dangerous. From then, you became what was probably the most eager camp follower in history. You did any and all laundry, promptly and quick, and ensured the chores were done in a fast and sufficient manner. Cheerful and thankful, most people regarded you as strange, but you didn’t care. Here, you felt you had purpose.

You became fast friends with Anna, who found your enthusiasm to be incredibly refreshing. When you told her how you came to camp, you were surprised to find out she not only knew Ben, but that they’d grown up together. One day Ben actually stopped by Anna’s cart to see how you were doing, and you found yourself blushing profusely.

That was the first time. But then he stopped by again that week. Then a few times the next. It eventually became part of his routine, and the best part of your day. You proudly told him about the heavy laundry haul you completed in record time, and asked him about how things were going for him, though you weren’t entirely sure of what it was he did. One of the most interesting times was when you told Ben about how you’d accidentally addressed Colonel Hamilton by the wrong name and hid from him for about a month after that out of pure embarrassment. While you thought it shameful, Ben thought it was adorable. That, and he assured you that Hamilton would never think about it.

Sometimes Ben brought Caleb with him. On one occasion, you noticed a tear in one of Caleb’s hats and offered to repair it for him, a simple enough gesture. Much to his surprise, you completed the repair in a day. After that, you were easily one of his favourite people. Even if Ben wasn’t around, Caleb swung by to visit you and Anna, teaching you vulgar tavern songs that made Anna scold him afterwards. You adored the strange bearded fellow and his stories of Greenland, even if some of them were gruesome. 

You were returning Ben’s laundry uncharacteristically late one afternoon, stumbling into his quarters to find him removing his shirt. It seemed he was about to leave camp and was in the middle of changing his clothes when you walked in. This was the first time you had seen a man, let alone Ben, without anything on his upper body, and you found yourself impressed by his muscular form. Still, the shock made you drop the basket right on the ground, clumsy as you were, and the two of you quickly started to pick everything up when your hand fell upon his. As your eyes met, Ben kissed you.

It was a soft, gentle kiss, ever like Benjamin. There was no force or ownership indicated, but still you trembled into it. As you parted, you had a strange feeling it had been his first kiss as well. His deep blue eyes, though great and beautiful, were innocent.

But you knew this was neither the time nor the place. Apologizing for the intrusion, you rushed out of the tent and back to the safety of Anna’s cart. You refused to tell Anna what happened. A week later, when Ben returned from wherever it was he had gone, he asked to speak with you privately. Thinking you were in some sort of trouble (as was the case having grown up in a particularly cruel place), you agreed, and braced yourself for the impact of exile.

“I wonder, Y/N, if you may allow me to court you.” Ben said.

Surprised, of course, that you weren’t met with bitter consequence and instead rewarded, for a moment all you could do was stare at him. Not that staring at Ben was a bad thing, for there was much to enjoy when it came to him. Once you came to your senses, you eagerly accepted.

And, after a month of him placing flowers into your portion of the cart when you weren’t around and a series of little notes you left him, along with late night conversations fireside and sneaking kisses, you and Ben were married. The loneliness you’d felt all your life from the absence of family no longer plagued you. While most women dreamed of the day the war ended and they could return to their proper homes, you were deliriously happy to be there in camp with your beloved Ben.

Both of you wanted children straight away, although with a war going on you thought it best to wait. But it seemed as though fate had other plans for you and Benjamin. Despite having waited for the wedding night, you discovered early on that you were pregnant. You determined it was likely to have occurred the first time the two of you made love. As Anna described it, “It’s as though he sneezed on you and it happened!”

Initially you were nervous to tell him, for fear it may prove too much of a burden amidst the heavy workload Ben already had. There were times, you noticed, when he seemed stiff and uncomfortable at his desk, and once you witnessed him fall asleep in the middle of writing a correspondence. As head of intelligence, you learned, Ben had much to account for. 

You waited a full week after you found out before you decided to let him know. Bradford informed you that he was discussing things with Caleb on the other side of camp. Gingerly, you approached your husband as he studied a map of Long Island, asking if he had a moment.

Caleb was in the corner of the room, “We’re a bit busy, Y/N.”

“I need to speak with my husband privately, Caleb.” You said, trying your best not to sound too rude.

“Why? Yer not pregnant already, are ya?” Caleb joked.

Ben looked at you with wide, concerned eyes. Damn it, Brewster.

“Well… a summer cold is not why I sent for a doctor last week…” You said quietly.

“… are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Ben replied, his voice cracking.

You nodded, “Ben, I’m with child.”

You were still nervous, but then you noticed there were tears forming in your husband’s pretty blue eyes. Ben swept you into his arms, hugging you tightly, making you laugh. When he was emotional, his actions followed.

Caleb meanwhile started to applaud, “Well done, Tall boy! And for you, Y/N. Bit eager to start yer family, I reckon?”

“Quite so,” You replied, grinning, “Though it wasn’t exactly as planned.”

“Aye, yer husband’s got strong stock in ‘em,” Caleb said, “Congratulations, ya sweet little thing, you.” He kissed your cheek and gave a tight side hug.

The first signs of the bodily changes were wildly exciting for the two of you. One morning you woke up and gasped, scaring Ben half to death, thinking something was dreadfully wrong. You profusely apologized, then showed him the tiny baby bump. He stared for a moment, then placed his hands on your stomach, as if he were unable to believe it, and softly placed kisses along your skin, intending them for his unborn child. Already he was in love.

There was no morning sickness or anything of the sort. You were lucky that way. You did experience some weight gain, which meant your corset had to be loosened, and your chest became heavy with milk. That, admittedly, you were slightly worried about. Having never known your mother and not witnessing breastfeeding, you had no idea what you would do when the time came. As if by fate, Mary Woodhull arrived in camp. You noted her son, and confided in her your fears about breastfeeding, childbirth and motherhood. She obliged.

Mary was delighted to help. She was a clever and kind woman who seemed exhausted by the absence of her husband, whom you knew was a friend of Ben’s. At first, you met with her separately from Anna, but as they started to mend whatever was between them, you happily met them both at Anna’s cart.

The first time you felt a kick was one of these times. You were talking to Anna regarding the state of one of the uniforms you were cleaning when it happened. You frowned, obviously confused. It felt like a weird nervous twitch or even a strange flutter. But then it happened a second time, just moments later.

“Y/N, is everything all right?” Anna asked.

“…I think I just felt my baby move.” You said slowly.

Anna’s eyes widened, “Really?”

“Or… perhaps it was just gas or something? It feels like… like a bubble?”

“How far along are you, again?” Mary’s voice piped up from among the various furs Anna had procured, “I felt Thomas for the first time when I was about 25 weeks.”

“I’m at 26 as of Tuesday,” You replied, “So it is possible?”

“I will call for a doctor,” Anna said, “Just to make sure.”

The Continental Army was short on doctors, so it was a few days before you were able to meet with one. During this time you continued to feel the “bubbles”, but you were unsure as to if it truly was the baby moving. Ben was also out and about more, so you couldn’t confide in him. 

Mary brought the doctor to the quarters you shared with your husband, who was in a meeting with the other officers. The doctor, who was a much older man, confirmed that yes, your baby was at the stage where you could feel them moving. After a series of other questions, and agreement that a midwife ought to come to camp when it came time for the birth, the doctor concluded you were progressing well.

Feeling excited, you went to tell Anna the news.

“Your husband is going to love this,” Anna said sweetly, “Now go on and tell him!”

Seeing the officers begin to file out the front door of the house in which the camp surrounded, you knew Ben would be among them. You tried to contain yourself as you looked for him, unmistakable as the most handsome out of them all. As you approached Ben, you noticed he was talking to a gentleman you did not recognize. Although, you were shy around most of Washington’s men and preferred the company of Caleb and Anna. This was likely due to the fact that you grew up rather poor.

“Is this Mrs. Tallmadge?” The man, dressed in a smart officer’s uniform, asked with a deep foreign accent.

Ben turned and his demeanour softened, pleased to see you.

“My love,” Ben said, placing a gentle hand on your back, “This is the Marquis de Lafayette, one of our dearest French compatriots. Marquis, may I introduce my wife, Y/N.”

The Marquis bowed, kissing your hand, “I must congratulate the both of you, if what I have heard from Colonel Hamilton is to be true.”

Ben sighed, “Yes, well, Hamilton would be the one to break the news.”

“I have children of my own, back home in France,” Lafayette said, “Two daughters.” He seemed hardly old enough to be married, let alone have two children!

“You must miss them terribly,” You said, enamoured of the Frenchman standing before you, “What are their names?” After all, you were still trying to decide on something.

“Henriette et Anastasie,” he replied proudly, “And they will be little patriots if I have anything to say about it.”

You smiled politely, but frowned as the baby started to kick yet again, “It was wonderful to meet you, Marquis.” You looked to Ben, “I’ll speak with you later-”

“Is everything alright?” Ben asked you, sensing your discomfort.

“It’s silly.”

“Y/N…”

You felt ridiculous admitting it in front of such a distinguished guest, “The baby is kicking. I’ve just seen the doctor to make sure, and the baby is kicking, Ben.”

Ben’s eyes lit up, “Really?”

You smiled and took his hand, pressing it to your bump. The fascination and pride on your husband’s face made you melt. Clearly, Baby Tallmadge knew their father.

“That is definitely a kick.” Ben confirmed, trying not to be overwhelmed with emotion in front of the Marquis.

Lafayette grew excited, “Magnifique! Your child is quite healthy, then! You may end up seeing a bit more, er, ‘aggression’ in the womb, if that is the word I am trying to find…”

“We will? Is that bad?” Ben asked, now very concerned.

Lafayette shook his head, “Ah, non. Quite normal, in fact. Maybe in America it is not so, but I asked many questions regarding the child, simply because I wanted to be as informed as I could. My oldest daughter, she used to stick her arm out all across my wife’s belly, and it was very strange! I asked her if it hurt, and she told me it did not, but I was so confused.” He was smiling, but there was a sadness in his eyes as he told the story.

The door to Washington’s headquarters opened and a few officers began to spill out, led by a grumpy looking Alexander Hamilton. Lafayette nodded to you, knowing this was his cue to speak with Washington, and stepped away. You turned your attention to Ben, taking his hands and pressing them to your stomach.

His eyes lit up as he felt his baby move again. It was as though the world around you didn’t exist. The two (well, three) of you were in that moment, with nothing else to touch you or interfere. It was then that you knew you’d made the right decision.

—

You observed little Thomas, practicing his letters or playing with his toy soldiers, and wondered if you were carrying a son. That would obviously thrill Ben to bits. But you also wondered if it was a girl. Lafayette seemed pleased of his two daughters, but that was the French for you. In Europe, things were very different. If you were a higher class (or rather, if he were a lower one), you would have liked to ask him more questions. Regardless, you knew you would be happy with whatever you had.

During one of the later months of your pregnancy, you and Ben realized you didn’t have a place for the baby to sleep. It was then that Ben brought up the extraordinary offer from Mrs. Washington, who had offered to allow you to stay with her until you gave birth. Politely you declined, insisting you wanted to stay with him. It was your place, despite the war. This troubled your husband, who confided his fears in Caleb.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to her, or my child, when I could have prevented it,” Ben explained, “It is my duty to care for them both.”

A few days later, Caleb returned, fresh from a meeting on the London Trade, carrying a large, abnormally shaped sack. He pulled Ben over to Anna’s cart where you were sitting minding Thomas. Ben, who was under a lot of stress at that point, was understandably annoyed.

“Now as Tall Boy Junior’s uncle, I’ve certain responsibilities,” Caleb said, grinning from ear to ear, “And while I can’t fix everythin’ fer ya both, I managed to find this wee gem on the Trade.”

Caleb then withdrew a beautiful wooden baby cradle from the sack. He explained it was made in Boston and the little blanket was from Philadelphia, both appropriately birthplaces of the revolution. Ben shook his head in disbelief and hugged Caleb as you, pregnant with both child and emotion, burst into tears. It was absolutely perfect.

Mary and Anna worked together to make a small outfit for the baby, so when he or she was born, they would have something to wear. The kindness of Ben’s friends (who were now yours as well) did not escape you, and often overwhelmed you to pieces. Ben insisted it was due to the fact that you were kind to all of them as well, and had to remind you that you were deserving of such gifts. You thanked God every day for all the blessings.

—

Now, on this day, as you sat trying to get comfortable when it was impossible, you noticed your husband Ben approaching. It was at the point where you wanted the baby out and into your arms, not just emotionally but physically. Ben was so worried about the safety of both of you that he hadn’t made love to you since finding out you were pregnant, and you missed his embrace. 

“How are you feeling, my love?” Ben asked when he reached you, kissing you quickly.

“Well,” You said, lying a bit, “But Anna won’t let me help her with needlepoint.”

Anna rolled her eyes, “Don’t throw me under the cart, Y/N, i am only thinking of your baby.” She had a hint of a smirk on her face.

“It’s just a pair of gloves,” You said, trying to make it sound smaller than it was.

“Well, may I allow you the option of making the gloves from the comfort of a bed?” Ben offered, “I’ll even escort you myself.”

“Please accept it, Y/N,” Anna said, “Before Mary or I do it for you.”

Defeated, you accepted. Ben walked you to your quarters, closing the tent door behind you. Once you’d managed to actually get into bed, Ben sat next to you, placing a hand on your back, “Does it hurt today?”

You nodded, closing your eyes. Ben sighed, rubbing your back, “My love, you need to rest when it gets this way. It’s not good for you, or the baby.”

“But I don’t want to rest,” You pouted, although you enjoying the feeling of his hand, “There’s so much to be done…”

“And it will get done,” Ben said, “By someone else.”

You groaned.

“Can I trust you to rest for a bit, before you return to help Anna?” Ben offered, knowing you had such difficulty sitting still.

You nodded, “Deal.”

Kissing him goodbye, you rested for about an hour or so before you were anxious to return. Thomas pointed when he saw you walk back into the cart, “Baby in your belly.” He was getting more talkative as he got older.

“Anna,” You said, looking for thread to finish off the gloves, “Where did you put the-”

Suddenly you felt a rush of wetness within your petticoat. Your frowned, wondering if it was possible you had urinated without meaning to, as this had happened once before a month earlier. Embarrassed, you decided not to act on it, and hoped you could finish your task and then return to your quarters to change. Although, all the walking was making your feet sore.

Anna, who was having a conversation with Caleb, started walking back to the cart as you tried to find the thread yourself. Moments later, you felt a sharp pain through your body that felt like an unholy menstrual cramp. Your lower back started to hurt even worse than it did before, making you hunch over. Then, another stabbing pain shot through you, this one making you cry out in both surprise and agony. 

It took all but a second for you to realize what was going on.

“Y/N?! What’s wrong?” Anna demanded, “Are you hurt?”

“… Anna, I’m going into labour.” You told her.

“Caleb, get Mary,” Anna said, “NOW!”

“Don’t ya mean get Ben?” Caleb asked.

“Ben is not well versed in childbirth, so NO, get Mary Woodhull, before I box your ears!” Anna commanded him, putting an arm around you, “Now let’s get you to your quarters-”

“I can’t, not there,” You said, clutching your stomach, “It’s more painful than I expected, I’ll scare the entire army!”

Caleb, who found Mary thankfully just a few yards away, burst in, “What about the barn?”

Anna blinked at him, “The barn?”

“He’s right, it’s quiet,” Mary said, “And safe. Y/N, I’m sending for the midwife-”

“Midwife left for the next camp,” Caleb said, “Yesterday afternoon.”

Anna and Mary’s eyes met in mutual panic.

“Then,” Mary said firmly, “Anna and I will deliver your baby.”

Caleb gaped at them, “Are ye mad, Mrs. Woodhull?”

“Caleb, take Thomas to Mrs. Bates, and get Ben if you must,” Mary ordered, taking her place on the other side of you, “Y/N, let’s get you to the barn as soon as possible.”

The short walk to the barn felt like miles as you felt two more contractions. As the midwife told you, they were irregular, which meant there was still a lot of time. This was a good sign, you told yourself, as Anna and Mary led you to the large pile of hay inside the barn, and helped you to sit down.

Seconds later, Caleb walked in with Ben, who rushed over to you.

“You’re not supposed to be in here!” Mary hissed.

“I’m aware of that, but this is my wife,” Ben hissed back, “Y/N, what do you need?” He looked at Anna and Mary. “What do you both need?”

“Towels,” Anna said, “Or cloth, of any kind.”

“Would bedsheets do?” Caleb asked.

“That would be fine,” Mary said, “A pillow or two is also a good idea.” She paused. “Ben, this is going to take a long time. You must understand that.”

Ben nodded, “Right. Towels, bedsheets, pillow. We’ll be right back.”

Anna started to help you undress until you remained in your shift. The relief of no corset was liberating, but you knew there was still much to happen. Once the contractions began to regulate, you would dilate, and it would be time to push. For all the preparation, you felt like you had no idea what you were doing.

Ben returned with everything, as Caleb knew it improper to see you in just your shift. Still, you wished you could see him, if only to have him distract you with tales of Greenland or something other than your own anxiety. Carefully, Anna and Mary placed pillows around you so you were comfortable. As a contraction rocked you, it was time to say goodbye to Ben.

He was reluctant to leave you, choosing instead to stand outside of the barn. Caleb, knowing his friend was nervous, stood with him.

“She’s a strong girl, Ben, she’ll be fine,” Caleb said, “Try to stay calm.”

Ben nodded, “I hope you’re right.”

—

Neither Anna nor Mary left you, even as the afternoon faded into night. The contractions eventually became frequent (and much more intense) and Mary decided it was time to prepare for full labour. Anna told Caleb and Ben that they needed a bowl of water, to which Ben ran off and returned with rather quickly. Moments later, it began.

“Y/N, you’re fully dilated,” Mary said, “I need you to start pushing.”

Outside, Ben jumped at the sound of your cries of pain. He looked at Caleb, his face utterly pale, and a million thoughts raced through his head. After all, it’d only been just Samuel and he, so Ben had no experience with the reality that was childbirth. He knew the basics, but not enough.

“It’s normal, Ben, I heard my own mum making the same noise when my brother was born, it’s not no pleasure trip,” Caleb insisted, “Maybe ya should try and get some sleep.”

“I’m not leaving her.” Ben said firmly.

Anna remained at your side, hands clasped around yours, as Mary coached you from below. Both women offered support in their own way, Anna by encouraging you over and over, and Mary by shouting instructions. 

It had been nearly ten hours at this point, and Ben was starting to really worry. He paced back and forth. Caleb thought he could even hear him uttering a prayer.

A sharp, almost burning pain became apparent, and you tried to sit up to tell Mary, but it seemed she already knew.

“Y/N, I can see the baby’s head,” she said, “Anna, help her sit up further.”

Anna obliged, moving the pillows as needed, and you awaited Mary’s next instruction. She ran a hand up and down your back, “You are doing incredible, Y/N, and we are getting so close!”

“I don’t feel incredible,” You said, wincing as another contraction made its evil presence know, “I want Ben…”

“And you’ll see him soon, but we’ll see your baby even sooner,” Mary said, taking one of the bedsheets and placing it underneath you, “Ok, it’s been long enough… Y/N, push for your little one.”

You grasped Anna’s hand as some of the worst pain and pressure you’d ever experienced coursed through you. It was almost exactly as the midwife had described. Things became a blur, between your screams, Anna’s encouragement and Mary’s descriptions. All this time you thought of your child, and your husband. You wanted so desperately for it all to be over, and to hold your baby in your arms. 

Caleb had fallen asleep standing up, which didn’t surprise Ben. He couldn’t sleep even if he tried. Every time he heard you cry out, his heart ached. It was normal, yes, but he feared for you still.

An hour later, you heard Mary say, “Y/N, I need one more big push!”

You let out a mighty scream as you pushed with all your might, and in return you heard a cry.

Your baby’s first cry.

Anna gasped. Mary broke into a big smile. And you, for all the months you’d waited, were unprepared.

—

Silence had taken over the barn. Ben’s keen observation made it feel deafening to him. Caleb, fast asleep, did not move. Ben waited patiently for an answer.

The door finally opened and Anna Strong stepped out.

“Would you like to meet your son?” 

Ben felt a lump in his throat, “I have a son.”

Anna nodded, moving aside so he could step in. She remarked at the sleeping Caleb, shaking her head as she closed the door behind them.

“He’s a bit bigger than Thomas was, but looks just as healthy,” Mary was saying as Ben approached you.

You looked up at your husband, swelling with pride as you held the tiny bundle in your arms. Ben knelt next to you, looking at his baby for the first time.

“Between your wife and Mrs. Woodhull, I don’t know who was more phenomenal,” Anna remarked.

Ben was at a complete loss for words.

“Would you like to hold him?” You asked.

Ben held out his arms and you placed the baby in his arms. He was in a state of disbelief. Nothing could have readied him for this moment.

“What do you think?” Anna asked.

“…he’s beautiful,” Ben said at last, “Absolutely beautiful.”

“What will you call him?” Mary said.

“I was thinking Nathaniel,” You said slowly, “For your father.” You paused. “And we might call him ‘Nathan’ for short.”

Ben knew this was to honour Nathan Hale, his beloved friend and fallen comrade. He loved it.

“Will he have a middle name?” Anna asked you.

Ben decided to answer, “Brewster.”

You smiled a little, “For his uncle.”

Ben looked at both Anna and Mary, “I can’t even begin to thank you for what you’ve done for my wife and I…”

“No need,” Anna said, “Women know how to take care of one another.”

“Ben’s right,” You said, “I could not have done this without either of you.”

Mary smiled softly, “The Lord helps those who help themselves. And I was happy to.” She stood up, yawning. “Now, if everything is set, I am going to make sure poor Mrs. Bates managed to get Thomas to sleep.”

Anna patted Ben on the shoulder, exiting the barn with her.

“Penny for your thoughts, Major Tallmadge?” You asked slyly.

“I never thought I could love something, or someone, as much as I do in this moment,” Ben replied, entranced with his son, who slept soundly in his father’s arms, “I swear to you I will protect him, and teach him how to be a good man. I will raise him to be proud of his last name.”

“I have no doubt that you will,” You said, laying back on the pillow.

You both stayed there in the barn for the rest of the night and into the early morning, too in love with each other and your beloved son to even consider moving. As you eventually fell asleep, Ben remained wide awake, keeping a watchful eye on the baby. He couldn’t tear himself away if Washington himself ordered him to.

—

Word that you had given birth in the barn spread throughout camp. It wasn’t long before it reached Washington. The Commander-in-Chief, who had just returned to camp, summoned Ben about three days after. 

After offering congratulations, Washington went to his usual sternness. 

“Am I to believe that your wife gave birth in the barn while I was away?” the General asked.

Ben nodded, “She did, sir.”

“Major Tallmadge,” he began, “You know you could have allowed her to stay in one of the beds of this house.”

Ben avoided his gaze, “Sir, forgive me for saying so, but the Mrs. Strong and Mrs. Woodhull thought it best to keep her in the barn. They told me it was less likely anyone else would hear her there. We were only thinking of the camp.”

Washington considered it for a moment, “Much like a stable was home enough for the Virgin Mary, I suppose it might offer the same for Mrs. Tallmadge.”

“Yes, sir, and the labour was a few days early,” Ben explained, “So there was no midwife in camp, but Mrs. Woodhull delivered the child without incident.” He paused. “I apologize if my wife’s remaining in camp has offended you, sir. I offered for her to stay with my father-”

“Benjamin,” Washington said, addressing Ben in a way that caught him off guard, “I believe such courage, from an officer’s wife and two camp followers, no less, merits good moral. Perhaps, if you don’t mind, we could circulate this good news, and its story, throughout the colonies. Your son is a symbol of resilience in the face of our enemy.”

Ben was taken aback, “Sir, I… I would not mind that at all.”

Washington nodded, “Colonel Hamilton will see to it, then. The bravery of our women in this time will not be taken for granted, Major. Ensure your wife knows that.”

“I will, sir.”

Ben didn’t know how he would tell you that you had, in one night, become an American hero. Nor did he know how he would tell Anna or Mary. He knew you would be surprised and probably embarrassed by it, but in his mind, you were a hero. Instead of bowing out, you did exactly what you needed to do, so too did his friends. You had given him the greatest joy he had ever felt, simply by being his wife and now, mother of his child. For it to be a jab at the British only made the event even sweeter.

As he approached Anna’s cart, where Caleb was telling Nathaniel stories of his travels while you held your little baby and scolded his uncle for his profanity, Ben realized something. For all the losses he’d endured - the deaths of Nathan and Samuel, the battles that saw seemingly no end - he had gained a pure happiness he did not even know existed. Early in the war, he used to think the glory of serving under Washington or marching into New York would bring him happiness. But now he knew better.

Benjamin Tallmadge was the luckiest man in the United States.


	3. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With family troubles comes a need for outside support, and Ben is willing to do more than just the bare minimum for the woman he loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T, with slight NSFW at the end. 
> 
> TW: Family issues, some abuse.

A nightmare. This absolutely had to be a nightmare. You wanted to scream and cry and yell and fight, but there was nothing you could do to escape it. And your own family had done it to you.

It came in the form of a letter to camp, addressed to you, which was unusual. Your family knew you were part of the cause and were generally supportive (although they tended to remain as neutral as possible), but it was to a point. In the back of your mind you knew this, but in the years you’d been part of the Culper ring, not once did it resurface. They never contacted you, even around Christmas. This was likely a safety thing so you weren’t bothered, and naturally, your parents had no idea you were helping code and decode letters. They assumed you did laundry.

Caleb had intercepted the letter first and delivered it straight to you. Apparently your father had gotten ill, and dangerously so. In your mother’s hand, the letter said there was “little time left” and you “ought to come as soon as you can.” Worried, you told Caleb to call a meeting with the spy master.

In the barn you handed the letter to Ben. He read it and agreed, going home for your father’s sake was necessary. You didn’t want to leave, but it was likely your last chance to see him, and perhaps tie up loose ends. If you’d paid more attention, you would have noticed Ben was very uneasy about this situation. Something wasn’t sitting right with him, but he chose to ignore it.

So it was agreed that Caleb would escort you, and return promptly to bring you back. That was it. You’d be there to see him, perhaps share a moment of understanding, and then be back in the thick of it.

But it all been a lie. An elaborate ruse to get you to return. No sooner had Caleb scurried off and you stepped onto the family porch did your gut feeling tell you something was wrong. As you walked into the family parlour, you saw your your mother, your clearly not sick at all father…and the man they had wanted you to marry.

“He’s returned,” your mother said, “And a spring wedding is planned. You will be a good daughter and do as you’re told.”

An arranged marriage was wrong in your books. You spat back that you could never marry a Tory, especially when your parents claimed to be Patriots. It was sickening. Your mother pulled you into the hallway.

“Your father is declaring bankruptcy,” she said quietly, “And this man’s fortune will save us.”

“Why would I ever marry or take money from the same people who imposed such tyranny on my country?” You demanded.

It was no use. A screaming match broke out when your father joined in, insisting it was your duty as his daughter to do as you were told. They both tried to guilt you, and when you understandably became hysterical with anger at the entrapment, you were forced into your bedroom where you now lay in a crumpled heat on the floor. Only when you were agreeable would you be let out.

You couldn’t marry this man, because you’d already pledged yourself to another. Major Benjamin Tallmadge, the tall blue-eyed intelligence officer, had stolen your heart a year before. Nathaniel Sackett’s recommendation to use you as a code breaker was headed well by both Washington and Tallmadge, who agreed a woman would be a perfect choice, since no one would suspect it. Ben was almost always going cross-eyed trying to go through enemy codes that his scouts had confiscated, so he welcomed the help, although you wondered why he was so pleased to have you there.

“I think Tall Boy’s got a wee crush on ya,” Caleb had said in those early days.

You’d laughed at that. As if Ben, who had a Yale education and easily was the best looking man you’d ever seen, would be interested in you. Someone like him would find love elsewhere.

But in those long hours you spend cracking codes and creating false code books to fool would-be spy catchers, you got to know him. You both enjoyed Cato and grew up in small towns. Making him blush with some slight flirtations became a sort of game, to which Ben liked to clumsily return. One time you told him you were fond on daisies, and the next day a small bouquet of them had appeared at your desk. He was subtle, but it was effective.

You two had to be careful. People in camp talked often. When you spoke to Anna Strong regarding the state of moral, she lowered her voice.

“I’m not one for gossip, Y/N, but most of the camp followers seem to think you and Ben…that you’re…”

Well, you weren’t. At least, not yet.

That was another reason you couldn’t be married. You’d been “spoiled” by another, or at least that’s how your parents had seen it. One night in particular, after going through another code book, you decided to kiss Ben with a little more enthusiasm than normal. Both of you fell into his cot, wrapped in each other, forgetting a war was going on at all.

It was awkward and painful, but you had no regrets. The times that followed were blissful. Of course, you did have to be discreet, but that didn’t matter. Even Caleb’s teasing didn’t bother you. You and Ben were in love.

Love was stronger than anything, you believed, and months later, just before Christmas, Ben asked you to marry him. You couldn’t have been happier. Although most women your age had grown up dreaming of their wedding, you instead dreamt of the life you’d have after the wedding date. So there was no disappointment to be had when you and Ben were wed on New Year’s Day, he in his uniform and you in a borrowed dress, with only Washington’s staff, Anna and Caleb as witnesses. The Marquis de Lafayette in particular found this touching.

You closed your eyes as you thought of that day and all the others with it. As you lay on the carpet, you wondered if it had all been a dream. A dream that was now shattered, with your being away from the camp and having to marry a stranger because your father had gambled away the remaining money. Not only that, but you’d be guilty of the crime of bigamy.

Thinking like a spy, you thought perhaps that might work. Or at least buy some time. To secure a divorce, they’d have to let you return to camp. So you simply just wouldn’t come back to them when you did.

But it went so terribly wrong. That evening, you told your parents you were already married to a Continental Officer. Your mother threw a fit while your father accused you of lying. Words about you being a harlot were thrown back and forth. You’d shamed them and your family, and a million other hurtful things were bombarded at you without holding back.

As you lay in bed that night, you hugged your pillow for comfort. Usually Ben’s warm body was next to you, his hands absently in your hair or touching your cheek. Those things always eased his mind, and also relaxed you. In his absence you felt trapped and lost.

—

Ben Tallmadge did not hesitate to pack up everything and change into civilian clothes when Caleb returned and informed him you didn’t show up for the return trip. He was kicking himself for letting you go there in the first place.  _ He _ should’ve escorted you. This was his fault.

It was evening by the time he and Caleb arrived at your family home. After dinner, you were sitting in the parlour, listening to the man they wanted you to marry go on about his business holdings in the East India Trading Company. Both of your parents were impressed, naturally. Money mattered to them, but you were so utterly bored and sad that you felt like a gaping hole was in the middle of your body. You longed for the camp, for the scratch of your quill on paper, and to be in the arms of your beloved Ben once more.

There was a knock on the door. You perked up. It didn’t make sense for someone to be there that late, especially in such a remote location as your parents’ house. As your father went to answer the door, a sudden realization came to you as to who it could be, and you prayed to God your hunch was true.

You heard your father talking to whoever was at the door, then his refusal to their entrance. Your mother frowned and that obnoxious little man craned his neck to try and see who it was.

Then, a familiar, wonderful voice echoed through the hallway.

“With all due respect, sir, I’m here for my  _ wife _ .”

It was Ben.

You stood up and ran straight to the front door and into his arms, bursting into tears in the process. He wasn’t in uniform- although, you’d seen him in less- and was just as happy to see you. You hugged him as tightly as you could, wanting to ensure this was real.

“Who on earth are you?” Your mother’s angry voice said from behind you.

You let go, reluctantly, of Ben and turned to your mother, “I told you I was married already, and he’s come to collect me.”

Your father appeared next to her, “Y/N is no longer part of your ‘camp,’ whoever you are. I suggest you leave this residence immediately or I shall call upon the Major who is just down the road.”

“She is coming with us.” Ben said, grasping your hand in his.

Your father scoffed, “You did not ask for my daughter’s hand, and I do not grant it!”

“There’s no need,” Ben said firmly, and you could hear his anger rising, “General Washington did it for you.”

Your father went to grab you away, but the cock of a gun stopped him. Caleb stood right next to you, smirking, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir. We’re takin’ her and that’s that.”

“My daughter is to wed another,” your mother explained, bringing in that small, irritating man from the parlour, “See?” Her voice was cracking. Clearly, your husband and best friend intimidated her.

Caleb started to laugh, “What, this little shite?” 

“According to Y/N’s father, I am legally entitled to her.” The man said, and despite the size difference, he was standing up to Ben quite well. 

“Is that so?” Ben raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, it is,” he continued, “So leave this house.”

“We shall. With Y/N. And we won’t be returning.” Ben replied.

“Good riddance.” You said under your breath.

“Collect your cloak, and whatever else you’ve brought with you,” Ben said to you, “And we’ll leave the moment you are ready.”

You nodded and went to the back room to retrieve your cloak and small bag. That was all you’d actually brought. You rushed back to the front hall, where Caleb still held the pistol out and Ben was having an intense conversation with the man. It had gotten to the point where he had withdrawn his own pistol and was holding it against him. Still, the man had gall to keep talking, which you deemed a fool’s errand against Ben’s intense blue eyes.

“She is still the property of her father until I take her.”

“Y/N is no one’s property, I assure you.”

“It’s not a legal marriage in a rebel camp.”

“It is in the eyes of God.”

“Then the eyes of God know she’s a filthy whore.”

No sooner had the words escaped his lips did Ben smack him hard upside the head with the pistol, throwing him to the floor. Your mother shrieked and rushed to his side, which disgusted you. Your father stepped in and tried to throw a punch, to which he matched it with one of his own. Your horrified mother didn’t know which man to run to, and raised her hands fearfully in the face of your husband. You’d seen Ben angry before, but not like this. And you knew why- anyone could hurl insults at him, but the moment your honour was questioned, they were as good as dead.

“Let’s go.” You said, holding onto his arm.

Your father’s voice spoke up then as you reached the porch, “Y/N, if you leave now, you’ll no longer be welcome here! I will  _ remove _ you from this family!”

“That’s fine, sir,” Ben said, looking back, a protective arm around you, “She’s already got one.”

—

You fell asleep on the way back, as Caleb chattered on about how puny the man your parents had tried to marry you off to was. Both he and Ben were laughing about how foolish your parents had been to try and cross them, if only to mask the cruelty of what they’d attempted to do. Ben carried you to his quarters, which were essentially both of yours. Since you’d been married, Washington had allowed a slightly bigger bed for you both. Ben sat down to finish a few reports while you slept. 

You groaned, starting to wake up. Ben jumped up from the desk and rushed over. You opened your eyes to see your beloved Dragoon looking back at you, and you smiled deliriously. He was so beautiful.

“So,” you said, “I suppose we’re really married now, aren’t we?”

“What do you mean, ‘really married,’ my love?” Ben asked, brushing a stray hair from your head, “Weren’t we?”

“I mean, my parents know now…” You trailed off, “Although I guess I don’t have them anymore.”

“My father would be pleased to know you,” Ben suggested, “When the war ends, I’ll take you to meet him.”

Always wanting to solve your problems for you. That was Ben. It was no wonder he was always so anxious about things. As you drank him in, you saw he had changed back into his uniform.

“You changed your clothes…” You said.

“Is that upsetting to you?” Ben asked, genuinely concerned.

“No,” you grinned at him, “You know I prefer you without.”

“Mmm,” Ben leaned down and kissed you, “That can certainly be arranged, Mrs. Tallmadge.” He slipped his jacket off, setting it on the chair.

“Although,” he continued, “I thought we agreed we’d not be having children until after the war…”

“We shall!” you said, sitting up and admiring him, “So many babies, Ben. I’ll give you as many as you want.”

Ben smiled, “An entire army, I’m sure.”

“More than I had,” you said as he slid into bed next to you, “None of them will be lonely. We’ll teach them to read and to think for themselves, so no one will ever try to overcome them. Strong Tallmadge boys and girls.”

“If they’re lucky, they’ll be like their mother.” Ben said, cupping your chin.

“And be as beautiful as their father.” You mused, giving in to a kiss.

You didn’t want to wait to have children, but for the sake of the war you knew you had to. It still didn’t stop Ben from making love to you for a few hours that night, and you were certainly not opposed. After all, the man deserved some reward for rescuing you.


End file.
